i think i just heard my heart break, and fall onto the floor in a cascade of shards. And the funny thing is, i don't know why. Oh God, i need you so much. I feel like quoting ecclesiastes: Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless! But i think my depression today stems from self-loathing. I feel weak and insipid, devoid of colour, brilliance and one special talent that makes me an individual. And i wonder what anyone can see in me, and like in me. Still you love me, still you called me to you. God, you really don't mind taking in the trash, do you? Knell. Kneel. Keel. Knowledge.