school

I've been realising that i haven't been putting in my all lately. Honestly, i'v enever felt so dissatisfied with my results. Thinking of them leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and i have a pang of regret. I didn't do badly, Thank God. But i know that I am far far away from where i ought to be. What can you expect, when i've been totally not paying attention in class, doodling and drawing, fancying myself the next picasso, i suppose. Worse still, i have become complacent about tests, preparing for them only the evening before. What happened to me? Thank God for flashes of insight, that show me where i stray. I WILL WORK HARD. At present, my goal in life is to be a good daughter, sister and student, and I will try my best.
I've not been a good student lately. I know i disappoint my teachers. I must. i catch myself dozing off in lessons, something that has never happened till this year. I listen with apathy during lit lessons, instead of paying attention and being talkative. There is a strain of irritation when i address my new lit teacher, who does not measure up to my expectations. Oh dear. I'm being very rude and mean and stupid and idiotic and really really really un-Christ-like.
Dear God, I pray you forgive me. Forgive me for being so mean spirited, for placing my own interests, my own wishes ahead of that of my teachers. Forgive me for not loving them enough, for forgetting to view them from the perspective of a teacher. God, i pray you forgive me, and help me to start afresh. Help me to look at my teachers and see them the way you do, help me to love them as you love me. AMEN.