this is for you, jie. For all the times when you aren't online. MY blog about My life, for YOU.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

tragic irony

I sprained my ankle.
And i have less than 10 days for it to heal well enough for me to a) rockclimb b) trek across mountains and c) do countless ankle moving activities.
I can't believe this! after remaining injury-free for the past year, even at times when i would have LOVED to have an excuse from training, i get a nice swollen ankle a little more than a week before i go for an adventure camp in New Zealand, which i have been looking forward to since May. But i will trust in God to heal me, and send me off in tip-top condition!
I still can't believe i sprained my ankle, and in the stupidest way possible. On the way down the stairs in Faithacts to fetch my notebook, which i had forgotten to bring up to the meeting, i was so fatigued from running around Singapore all morning that i didn't look down, missed a step and landed on the side of my leg. There was this CRACk! in my ankle before my leg gave way altogether and i plunged down on my knees in front of a very astounded little boy. Call me stupid, but i didn't know how bad my sprain was then, so i ran up the stairs with my sprain, and after that, i jumped, and even ran all the way back to faithacts after visiting church on a toilet break. And it didn't hurt, much. It only throbbed a little when i stretched it. So it was only after i got home, after enduring a nice long walk to dinner and an entire MRT trip that i realised that it actually was swollen.
So now my nice, shapely ankle :D is bloated and shapeless.
I just bought my first tube of deep heat, and have been vigorously applying it in less-than-gentle circular movementss in vain attempt to generate heat. Yes, after applying dubiously large globs of cream to my swollen ankle, i didn't feel much heat arise. which is suprising, considering that the last time i applied deep heat, in OBS, i applied just a fraction too much and my whole back felt like it was on fire. Perhaps i snapped a nerve or two, which would explain the delayed response of pain, and the fact that even chinese medicated oil, potent enough to raise tears in your eyes if overapplied, had no effect whatsoever on my ankle.
Lately, my brain has sunk to the lowest levels of activity, and now i have no ability to come up with a single shred of original and scintillating prose that will delight you ears, jie. you will have to bear with an overload of adjectives.
I remember dad talking about this guy who gave a speech, and used so much adjectives and big words in his speech that after a while, not only had he bewildered his audience, but had also managed to confuse himself! Not being the joke-teller that Dad is, it sounds unfunny to the extreme.
I have been feeling the urgent need to improve my skills as a conversationalist. Otherwise, i will never ever be able to "speak my mind". It's just that, when i'm talking to someone, it's just so much easier to keep quiet and let them do the talking, that when they DO give me opportunities to speak, all i can say is "whatever" and "sure", or some unoriginal and daft response that hurts MY ears, or stay silent. After years of forcing myself silent so as to prevent people from criticizing my overusage of vocabulary, i have almost entirely lost my vocabulary, beyond certain key impactful phrases ass mentioned above. Like i'm a mute, or something. Even a dog has more originality than i do, it can whine, bark and sneeze. I, on the other hand, can only talk, and even then, barely so. Enough of thumping myself down, though, i will learn to open the floodgates between my mouth and my brain and the people will rue the day they ever commented on my lack of speech.

Monday, October 17, 2005

the farewell

The garden thronged with life, from the vivid grass to the staid oaks with welcoming arms, to the multicoloured crowd that sprawled around it in little groups. like a periscope turning, the pattern of people changed constantly, lone figures breaking off from their respective groups to trip and bound across the lawn to another, in an unorchestrated yet beautiful movement.
To the side of the garden, a group of girls tearfully hugged each other, reaching across to form last-bonds, before time and tide swept between them and left them stranded upon different shores. Weak smiles and tearful glances were exchanged, along with contact info and promises of visits. It was time to say goodbye.
She hugged preetha, wanting to squeeze out another moment of friendship, just before they parted. Out of the corner of here eye, another group went through a similiar round of actions, and she steeled herself. It was time. She broke off with a final squeeze and walked across the lawn, a smile plastered on her face. She would remember this feeling, this final desperate tug of her heart, even as she shut that door behind her, forever.
"Hey. A hug?" She smiled, a careless, friendly smile. Even as his arms wrapped around her, she felt desolation sweep past her, as she felt his thin arms barely touch her, palms resting feather-light on her shoulders. She hugged him, feeling just how thin he was, before releasing him. In that split second of nearness, she inhaled his scent, singular and intoxicating, a scent that she would cherish. Yet when she turned her back towards him and gave a soft sigh, she felt that familiarity escape, and before she had crossed the lawn to yet another group, she had forgotten his scent. All she remembered was the bliss that accompanied it, and the jump-start it gave to her.
He left in his car, turning back as he pulled away to give that signature smile, that one last hearty wave to the crowd that was his friends. As he turned to face the road once more, his gaze lingered for a moment on her, and he saw a sparkling thread wind down her cheek, as sunlight hit the path of tears as it coursed down. He eyed her from his rear-view mirror, and he felt a pang. He had done nothing to attract her to him, said nothing memorable to her, and there she was, his friend, crying for him. He was confused. Friends. This had not been his first camp, and he had come prepared. The friends he made here did not matter, not when summer waned and he moved on. And yet this group of friends had been stitched into the cloth of his heart, and now he loathed to pick the stitches out again. Especially when one had embroidered a little, inconspicious heart in it. He would wear it as a badge, as a booster when he was another nameless face in a sea of strangers, treading the rubber hallway of life.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

shopping

i just went for therapy... shopping.
i have revamped by wardrobe a little...
now, i have bright bright clothes! yeah. a way new look, jie.
i am not trying to be someone else, but it's more like a try-try thing.
i have the faintest of faint suspicions that the look will not last, simply because it's only part of my character, but we'll see how it goes.
OH, and Dad took me to Equinox yesterday!
we had a six course dinner
first, oysters as an appetizer, then smoked salmon with nice pickles, then lobster creme *weird french name (basically really creamy thick soup with black truffles! and baked lobster on a satay stick
then foie gras (it was heavenly!! it literally melted in my mouth, and then there were these delightful baked/sauteed fruits for you to eat it with)
followed by a seafood platter thing... i decided to fast the next day to make up for this gluttonious behaviour
and then lemon sorbet in strawberry soup!! the lemon sorbet was thick and zesty, and beneath it was mint ice cream, which i didn't quite figure till i was half way through because it had mixed a little with the lime and tasted funny. i love strawberry soup!
and today, for lunch i had mushroom soup and berry tea, and the berry tea was sour, and crimson, and every thing i want in a berry tea! there were bits of dry berry, and chamomile flowers, and it was fragrant and sweet and sour and RED. talk about appealing to all senses!i seriously reccomend it to you... coffee club, i think. that place next to kinokuniya in takashimaya... hey, it rhymes!

Jie,i know you don't believe me, but i am really over! i think. cos today, i actually noticed other guys! one in particular, in mummy's office, because he was nice and talked to me like an equal although he is a graduate. I know, scandalous! and no, i do not have a penchant for older men, and Mr Nathan does NOT count, he was still a TEEN, okay? But the point is, i am over him! *cheers*!
and since this is NOT on the ctss website... did you see Tom's photo album? he actually looks quite goodlooking in them... heh.

Monday, October 10, 2005

OVER

exams are over.
suddenly, my afternoons are great empty voids.
i have NO idea what to do... which is very sad
my brain is not working; i've just spent the entire day walkign around orchard, the bulk of which was centred around orchard library. i miss my profound literature.